Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
foreskin is a definite game changer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
