We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
