She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
A+ Viking dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
