Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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