It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
