Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
