Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
