I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
