well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize