on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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