if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
