so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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