all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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