If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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