Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
