you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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