yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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