the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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