dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
