and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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