Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
