Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
