Don't you send me to vm
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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