So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
