at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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