i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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