I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
