Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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