Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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