...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
