Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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