I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize