I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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