dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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