I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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