every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
