is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
