My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
