we have officially lost it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
