Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
