dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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