using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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