pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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