i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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