if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
