Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
