nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
