so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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