you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
