I want to have your abortion
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
