He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
