My brain says no but my pants say off.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
