At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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