I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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