Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
