once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
