Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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