and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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