Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
