i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
