You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
