do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
cat food counts as protein by the way
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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