im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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