You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
