I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
