are you still at the devil's house?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
