I have demons in me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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