Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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