I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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