at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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