I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
