Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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