i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
