im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
