My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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