Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
